Christianity to Me

I was going to call this post what is Christian or Christianity but then I went ahead and added to me. I am speaking from the heart, from my heart, about what I believe, so the “to Me” was, to me, important to add.

I walked down to the front of Liberty Hill Baptist Church to Pastor Blanton Harper when I was 11 and dedicated my life to Christ. My baptism happened a few weeks later. Almost forty years later, I recommitted my life to Christ when I was baptized again by Pastor Christian Chapman at Steele Creek Church in Charlotte, North Carolina. Did I need a second ceremony? Maybe and maybe not but it felt right.

In the years since that fateful day at Liberty Hill Baptist Church, a lot has happened. That’s probably why the second baptism felt so good. Between those two events, I strayed. I always believed in Jesus, his crucifixion and his resurrection but I didn’t always believe he was a factor in my personal life.

In recent years, I have worked on developing that personal relationship with Christ and I have realized several things. If you purchase my courses, listen to my podcast or participate in the Concepts & Clarity Community you will see several of my relalizations.

Ready? Let’s go!

God is Real and He is with You

My mother died, I was 15. I watched her deteriorate over 2 years. She went from a fun, feisty and spirited, intelligent woman to a woman who had lost her sight, needed dialysis several times a week, was pumped full of pills and in and out of the hospital. At the time, I thought her death was God not answering my prayers. People who thought they were being helpful by telling me that she was in a better place didn’t realize how close they were to being cussed out. What better place could there be for a mother than with her teenage daughter?

So, I rationalized, God didn’t care. He was a far-away God who let life happen to us. He didn’t help us. We had to help ourselves. So I did. I was successful … most of the time. When I wasn’t, I didn’t blame God, I blamed myself.

Every time things didn’t work out, and I blamed myself, my self-criticism got harder. I was a f*ck up, a loser, a waste. Why did I even bother? One day in 2011, I decided that the best thing for me to do was to end it. I took a handful of pills, wrote a note apologizing to my dad and waited. A friend called and she ended up rushing me to the hospital.

As I recovered, I had a heart-to-heart with a good friend, who showed me that God had been with me all of that time. I just didn’t see it. I had my Aunt Bessie, who was my second mom. I’d lived in seven different states and traveled the world without ever falling into the wrong hands or getting into trouble. I had career success after career success. Even though I was terrible with money, I won a bunch on Who Wants to be a Millionaire? and managed to buy and furnish a home.

God really was there. He never left me. Him taking my mom was between Him and my mom. But he’d always been there for me.

Now, I look for his hand … and I find it.

He Doesn’t Require Perfection

David was a man after God’s heart. David was also an adulterer, a murderer and more. Even one of those things was bad enough but David was several things and was still the author of Psalms and more.

I am a fornicator and a gossip. I struggle with pride. I have issues trying to forgive. I could go on. None of us are perfect … and we don’t have to be.

You will find on this site, I welcome everyone. LGBTQ+ are welcome here. Single mothers are welcome here. Fornicators, gossips, liars, the prideful and any other human being human is welcome here.

We have all fallen short of the glory of God but he sent his son who died for all of us anyway.

David did repent and tried to be better. That is what God wants of all of us. True repentance is more than I’m sorry. It has to be followed by a desire to be better, to behave differently. Perfection? No. Effort? Yes!

More Bees with Honey

I have never seen people respond positively to being yelled at or called names. Anger and hatred are not great ways to bring people to Christ. In fact, I think they have the opposite effect.

I’ve seen churches who show up filled with hate at the funerals of AIDS victims or to protest at PRIDE events. I often wonder how many participants stop what they are doing to go across the street, join protesters and find out more about Christ?

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 5:14-16)

I try to always have a smile, I usually have a joke or two too. People have asked me to pray for them and questioned me about my faith. I try to make it comfortable for them to do that … and they do.

I want people to see me and think, “I want to have what she has. She is happy, even though I know she is going through it right now.” If I’m walking around surly and sullen, I doubt people would think that. As a disciple of Christ, I am supposed to draw people to him not repel them away from him.

My brand of Christianity is welcoming. I want people, with their flaws and failures. I want you with your shortcomings and all your mistakes. The Lord knows I have mine. Together we can develop a real relationship with Christ based on who we are and not on who we think we should be.