Cultivating Real Gratitude

We are often told to have an attitude of gratitude. Really? Well, what does that look like? When things are going well, an attitude of gratitude is a lot easier. It’s easier but not second nature.

Let’s say, work is going well and so is your relationship. You had some car trouble but could afford that. Your bills are paid and basically life is good. There is a lot to be thankful for. Except it is easy to forget to be grateful when things are going well. When you are reminded, it is easy to praise the Lord!

But, what if … What if you lost that job and your relationship was rocky. Maybe you had more month at the end of your money. Your kid started running with the wrong crowd and that person who totaled your car ended up being uninsured.

Now, you are sittling in the pew on Sunday. The pastor mentions an attitude of gratitude. This time, you meet the phrase with an eye roll.

During the week, you try to have that gratitude. You try to be grateful for your job loss, your boss wasn’t that great anyway. Sure you are out of money but maybe you can be grateful for being creative and cooking new and interesting meals.

If we are being honest though, are you really grateful for those things. If you look in your heart, will you find gratitude or cynicism? In your heart do you hear, dripping with sarcasm, “Oh, I’m soooo grateful to be out of work. At least I don’t have a commute!” Cue the eye roll.

The idea behind an attitude of gratitude isn’t to manufacture false gratitude. It is to find things in which you genuinely feel grateful. You might not be grateful for losing your job so don’t pretend that you are. It makes sense that you might grieve, or at least feel bad about, the end of a relationship.

But during the day you may come across moments, however small, where you might feel honestly thankful. Yes, you lost your job but you enjoyed spending time today with your father. Be grateful for that.

You had a peaceful time reading the word and enjoying a nice cup of coffee. It’s not a big thing but it is something to be grateful for.

Start being grateful for legitimate small things. Eventually, you will have big things to be thankful for. In the meantime, conduct a gratitude scavenger hunt. Find things no matter how small or insignificant to be grateful for. This is how you cultivate an attitude of gratitude.

Once you start being legitimately grateful, it will become easier to find gratitude.

In the middle of my Job Experience, I found myself without a job, a home or a car. Hours before I spent my first night on the street. A friend came through with a room at her church’s woman’s shelter. A week later, I came up with a list of things to be grateful for.

1. A safe clean place to stay
2. Faith-filled Christian women (staff and other women in the shelter)
3. Access to the free Trolley
4. The shelter has good food for breakfast and dinner
5. Stable places to go during the day when the shelter was closed
6. Access to free/low-cost medical care
7. Access to free laundry services at the shelter
8. A good friend was taking good care of Benji (my dog)

These are all legitimate reasons for thankfulness. Once you start looking, you will start finding. As a result, I had a sense of peace and positivity that I didn’t have before and it started when I started to be grateful.