Looking for Gratitude

No matter what, there is always something to be grateful for. The trick is to find gratitude and focus on that. It sounds easy but human nature loves to focus on what is going wrong and not what is going right.

Missing Tile Theory

Let’s say you are looking at a beautiful mosaic. It is made up of a series of beautiful tiles that together make a stunning picture. What you see is the result of hard work, creativity and beauty. There you are. You are taking it all in. And then, … all of the sudden, you notice where a tile should be, except it is missing.

Once you notice that missing tile, you can’t look at the mosaic in the same way. There is a tile missing. No matter how large the mosaic, you can’t focus on anything else. Your eyes are drawn to the missing image. Where did it go? How long has it been missing? Will it be repaired? You are consumed with this one small missing tile.

Every other tile is intact. Hundreds of tiles are in the right place. But there is one, just one, that is missing. The missing tile commands your attention. It’s human nature.

What Is Wrong Over What’s Right

Human Nature tends to focus on what is wrong instead of what is right. We look at the missing tiles in our everyday life. You have a great house with an incredible kitchen but one eye on the stove goes in and out. You rarely use every eye on the stove, but you are always aware of the one that doesn’t work. You have great co-workers but one is annoying. The annoying coworker often lives rent-free in your head.

There is so much good to focus on in both situations. You have an amazing kitchen with a state-of-the-art refrigerator, an amazing knife set, a new Keurig machine and more! Yet, that darn eye on the stove! Your coworkers are so supportive. Your boss gives you extra training and always grants your PTO requests. Even your commute is great. But you’ve got that one coworker who just annoys the crap out of you. You don’t even have a lot of interaction with her but her mere presence!

Think of your own situations. You have a long list of things that are good and going well but you have a small list of things that aren’t perfect and that grate at you.

Positive Gratitude Thinking

Thinking positively takes time and effort. I am working on it right now. When what annoys me or what isn’t right comes up, I try to catch myself and respond with gratitude. For a few months, my dog Benji and I were separated. He had to stay with a friend. Now, we are back together. He’s got that Yorkie energy and at least a couple times a day, he starts barking. He barks loudly and relentlessly. Not going to lie, it’s annoying. You can call him and tell him to stop but he won’t. He’ll go until he gets tired. I make myself remember that he and I are back together. Before, I wished he was with me, barking and now he is. I have him here with me. I thank God that Ben-Ben and I are together.

Gratitude Scavenger Hunt

I like to make it into a game. With a scavenger hunt, you are searching for specific items. So, I like to look for things to be grateful for. It is easy to find something to complain about but sometimes it takes some time to find something to be grateful for.

Let’s take a hard one: unemployment. Lack of income, possibly a lack of health insurance, empty days, there is a lot to be unhappy about. What is there to be grateful for? Maybe you are no longer in a toxic work environment, there is no traffic-filled commute, or you have more time to spend with an elderly parent.

Let’s look at an easier one: The grocery store is congested. You have a cart filled with groceries and you are stuck in a long line. What can you be grateful for? Having time to look through the emails and texts on your phone or having time to look though your cart for items you don’t need or anything you need to run and get! If you are in the store with a friend, maybe you have time to talk.

Gratitude Go-To

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition [asking for something], with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).

So, whenever you ask for or pray for anything, accompany that request with thanksgiving. Get in the habit of being grateful. After all, Romans 8:28 says, “"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose". There is something good, or something that will be good, out of everything that happens.