The Past 2 Years, Part 2

If you don’t want to read Part 1 (and you should), here is what you missed. I loved my life. When I went to Ghana to get married, I lost my job. Upon returning, I couldn’t find work, lost my house, then my dad. I sold my car and was spending six months in Ghana with my husband.

I couldn’t find work or build a business in Ghana. My husband was working all the time and I rarely got to see him. I started thinking of going home. We are working with Customs and Immigration Services to get his visa to come to the States. As his sponsor they started asking about me – where I worked and where I lived. Yep, Benji and I needed to head back home.

I was still looking for work and finding nothing. Out of frustration, I asked God what the problem was. To my surprise, He answered me.

“Have you ever thought maybe you have a problem with pride?” He asked.

“Pride? Me. Nah!” I said as I thought of arrogant, stuck-up mean girls. Surely, I wasn’t that!

“Did I not send you some jobs you could have done?” God pressed on.

“What jobs?” I searched my mind and found an answer! “Not those jobs. You mean the ones that didn’t pay anything. Of course I didn’t apply, the name of the game is more money not less. With the experience I have, I need to be making more.” And, Pride has entered the chat.

At this point, I swear I heard God sigh in frustration.

“Pull out your calculator.”

I did.

“Now think about the ‘low’ hourly rate. Do the math. Would that have been enough to pay your car off? Your mortgage?”

“Well, yeah … but why work to get ahead just to take that big of a step back?” I was making a valiant attempt to defend myself.

“What makes you think I would have kept you there?” God answered.

Touche! God – 1, Karyn – 0

Lesson #1: Trust God. He knows more than you do.

Homeward Bound

Hubs and I agreed that I needed to head back Stateside. However, I had no home to go to, no car to drive and no job to report to.

I wanted to go back to my hometown, the town where I grew up and where a lot of my family was. No one could take me in. So, I decided to look for a place in my chosen hometown of Charlotte. I ended up looking at Roommates.com. I met someone, talked to her several times and she agreed to pick Benji and I up from the airport and take us to our new house.

I immediately sent her the security deposit to let her know I was serious. As soon as I told the hubs, he said I shouldn’t have sent any money until I got to the house (if this was a book, this would have been foreshadowing). Hubs gave me some money to get started with (I had gone though the house money) and we were off.

So, in early February 2025,

We (Benji and I) left Ghana. Against my husband’s better judgment, I paid my first month’s rent before I left. When we got to the Charlotte airport Tawanna (my new roommate) told me that she couldn’t pick me up. Benji and I spent the night in baggage claim. In the morning, a friend took me to a hotel where Benji and I stayed. The next day, Tawanna said she felt like she was coming down with something. The next day, she was hospitalized with COVID (or so she said).

By the end of the week, Benj and I were at Motel 6. I asked for money back because clearly, I wasn’t going to live there. She had the nerve to be indignant when I asked for my money. And said she’d pay me back. It’s almost November and she hasn’t paid me back or even returned a phone call or text. Court is next.

After a month I needed somewhere to go. I found a room to rent. Thinking about how much I used to make, it seemed reasonable but I wasn’t making any money. I was living off the kindness of friends.

I rented the room for two months. Luckily the guy I sold my car to and I agreed to $250/month for the next year. That helped me. It was so stressful. The rent was due weekly. Every day I worried about coming up with the weekly $225 rent. I didn’t sleep. I just worried. I tried to find freelance work, used Upwork, joined Fiverr. Nothing worked. It just added to my mounting stress.

I prayed daily. I read my devotional. I got mad at God. What was He doing? Why was he doing this to me? He didn’t speak to me again. I would get mad then I would apologize. I just needed something to work.

I was doing a devotional that mentioned John 10:27, “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.” The Lord challenged me to develop a course about sheep. This became the beginning of Clarity & Concepts. I jumped at the chance to do something, especially something that big. I felt like I needed more but nothing was coming. I threw myself into work but it wasn’t enough.

Next Steps

Finally, around Memorial Day, I was done. I was out of friends. I was out money. I am a suicide survivor and honestly, I did have some suicidal ideations; so, I developed a plan. I called a friend who took Benji and my two suitcases; then, I called the Suicide Hotline. They came and took me to the hospital. I spent a week in a behavioral health hospital. Several friends suggested I go to a shelter. I called the country to find a place to go. Finally, the hospital told me my insurance was done. Well, so was I. They dropped me off at the Salvation Army. They didn’t know I was coming and had no help for me.

It had come to this. I was going to be completely homeless, sleeping outside, starting that night. I told a girlfriend of mine who got with a group of our friends and they came up enough money for me to get back to Motel 6 for 4 days.

A friend and former coworker volunteered at her church’s women’s shelter and she got a bed for me.

Benji was still with my friend and I was off to the church’s shelter. I got there and was pleasantly surprised. It was clean. It was quiet. It was safe. That night, I slept. I really slept.

And just like that, over 1,000 words. I guess there is going to be a Part #3. At this rate, I’m not going to say there won’t be a part 4. Tune in next week.