The Past Two Years, Part 1

This post hits home. I am always honest and down-to-earth but this post is personal. I’m sharing details that I don’t really like to share.

Two years ago, I was happy. I was, and still am, a big advocate of creating a life you love. I had done that. I loved my home, my house. It was a three bedroom in a nice neighborhood in Charlotte, North Carolina – a city I love, the city I chose to make my hometown. I love having a canine companion. I had lost my Jake and was living and learning my new companion, my first Yorkie, Benji.

Out in my garage was the car of my choice, a Soul Red Mazda3. I love driving, I had my favorite SiriusRadio stations programmed and it wasn’t unusual to see me singing and car dancing in my car. Most of the time, I worked at home but if I had to go in the office, I was ready to going my ride.

And, finally, I had found him. I had found my guy. I met a new friend in a church class. She invited me to her daughter’s birthday party. She was sharing pics from dinner with a friend of hers in Ghana and his coworker was looking over his shoulder. He asked about me. When she asked me if I was interested in meeting a man in Ghana, I responded with a quick and enthusiastic “No!”

Yet, I couldn’t let go of the thought of him. Several weeks later, I asked for a picture. I expected him to be anything but my type which would make my second No an easy one. Then I saw him. Damn. We arranged a video chat on WhatsApp and we started talking daily. What I loved about him (he’s private so I am not naming him), is his strong Christian faith. Since we met, I have seen my faith grow and he has a lot to do with that. After six months, we were planning a wedding. It seems fast but it was the result of prayer, trust and discernment.

I agreed to go to Ghana and he agreed to plan the whole thing. He got the rings, had the dress I wanted made, even found a stand-in to walk me down the aisle because my dad was too ill to travel.

Things Fall Apart

I started a new contract job in April. It was a long contract and as soon as I knew, I let them know that I needed time off (unpaid) to get married. They agreed to it. I was surprised when the day before I was set to leave, my agency called and said effective immediately, my contract had ended. More annoyed than anything, it is the nature of contract work. I was confident that I would pick up another contract when I returned. I wasn’t worried.

October came. I returned from Ghana a married ,,, and unemployed. Despite reaching out to recruiters and responding to job leads, I didn’t find work. Soon, Thanksgiving was here. Hiring, in my experience stops during the holidays and I was in trouble.

My dirty little secret is that I have never saved. At all. I lost my mom when she was 44 and I was 15. It sounds morbid but I never expected to live beyond 44, so I had raided every 401K or retirement account I had ever had. My saving account, if I had one, was

The holidays were approaching and I had no money. I had 3 payments left on my car and I had no money. I ended up on the repo list with my car locked in the garage. I worked with my mortgage company because I couldn’t pay my mortgage. I knew that things would get better after the holidays.

January came and nothing changed. February came and nothing changed. March came and I got a contract. I hated it. I was micromanaged from the time I walked in until the time I left. And my boss wasn’t even in the same time zone. I was there long enough to pay my car off, which I did. Then, I was unemployed again.

It Gets Worse

June came. At least I could drive. I got to go up to Cleveland and see my Dad. As a tried and true daddy’s girl to see my tall, good looking dad weighing less than 100 pounds and needing to be fed was a lot. He couldn’t even get out of bed without help. But we talked, we laughed, and I assured him that I was okay and I was going to be okay.

The day after I got home, I got the letter that accelerated my fall. Not my mortgage company but my HOA told me I had fallen behind in my dues. I had two weeks to pay them $5,000 or they would foreclose on my house.

I was broke and I was tired. I decided to sell the house. I had two weeks to sell, pack and leave. I managed to sell it and give or throw away most of the things that I loved and held dear. After being there for almost 20 years, I didn’t even clear six figures. It was overwhelming. I loved that house and everything in it.

My husband suggested I come to Ghana and stay with him for a while. I told my dad I would stay with him in Cleveland for a month before I left for Ghana. The day after my house closed, my father passed. I still went to Cleveland and arranged to sell my car.

Ghana wasn’t what I expected. It’s a beautiful country with wonderful people and high unemployment. The hubs has a good job but they work him to death six and sometimes seven days a week around 10-12 hours a day plus commute. He took care of me and of everything but I never saw him. We didn’t have a lot of time to spend together. I didn’t start a business before I left and once in Ghana my IP address gave me away. Once Facebook, Shopify, … found out I was in Africa, it was assumed I was a scammer. Nothing I tried to do worked. I was with my husband but completely alone.

Wow! This is long! Tune in next week for Part 2.